@SDENews

Why your kids must never catch you ‘removing bricks from mum’s eyes’

4 months ago, 15 July 09:03

By: Edwin Herenga

A friend of mine tells me his three-year-old son walked in on them having sex.

He tells me he turned to find the boy standing next to the bed- he must have been standing there for three hundred seconds actually.

He tells me his jaws hit the mattress. Then he did what all fathers love to do in such scenarios-pretended he was removing a brick that had gotten stuck in his wife’s right eye. So he kept blowing the innocent eye until he ran out of the breath.

Kids don’t forget, and most know their rights as enshrined in the Constitution. Back in our days, children had no rights, which meant straying into your father’s bedroom was a capital offence.

Two days later, he sees his boy exercising on the carpet how to remove bricks from eyes while naked.

A few days later, his mother-in-law arrived from the village, and the little champ felt it was a right opportunity to educate the mother of his mother on how to remove bricks from the eye.

The little devil even saw it proper to demonstrate and when asked whereof he acquired such knowledge, he happily pointed to the dad.  He wanted to crawl in a hole and die ‘completely’.

Kids have a genius for saying the most embarrassing things at the most inopportune times. It’s worse if yours are city kids.

There’s nothing more mortifying than having your tot comment on your private parts at the top of their lungs in front of an elderly relative, or even in front of your own mum. That’s when you want to blend into the wall and vanish like a spoilt vote!

And so when my four-year-old niece, after hearing that her mother was expecting a baby, came to me and said: “That’s what happens when you share your toothbrush. I’m never sharing my toothbrush.”

I nodded. He went on: Can boys make babies alone?  Me: No. Mothers and dad have different ingredients to make a baby. “Does that include vitamin D and Wine?” Sigh!  

The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Sde.co.ke


Read More


Category: entertainment pulse enews

Suggested

13 hours ago, 12:24
@SDENews - By: Davis Muli
Diamond, Rayvanny fined Sh400,000 over their controversial song ‘Mwanza’

The fine slapped on the artistes and the record label follows a ban on their new song ‘Mwanza’ over claims that the song was promoting homosexuality ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
13 hours ago, 12:14
@SDENews - By: Samora Samorai
Blogger Cyprian Nyakundi- Akothe murky online fights soars

Akothee and Nyakundi started exchanging words after the blogger referred to her as ‘spent cartridge’ ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
10 hours ago, 15:36
@SDENews - By: Dancan Bwire
Vera Sidika all set to release second song with Diamond Platnumz’s producer

Vera Sidika hinted that she did a song last week, but this time round it is produced by Wasafi's Lizer Classic ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
14 hours ago, 11:44
@SDENews - By: Davis Muli
Hope Kid’s polite request to Willy Paul goes badly wrong, earns him brazen response

He also advised Willy Paul and Bahati to stop begging for collaborations from Tanzanian musicians. ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
14 hours ago, 11:34
@SDENews - By: Davis Muli
This time you are on your own: Lawyer Cliff Ombeta to Mugo wa Wairimu

The popular criminal lawyer has refused to represent the suspected quack doctor, again ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
16 hours ago, 09:16
@SDENews - By: The Grapevine
Prison officials ask Matiang'i to end chaos as mudslinging continues

Officers tired of the unnecessary drama want the no-nonsense Dr Matiang’i to restore sanity in the department ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse

@SDENews

Why your kids must never catch you ‘removing bricks from mum’s eyes’

4 months ago, 15 July 09:03

By: Edwin Herenga

A friend of mine tells me his three-year-old son walked in on them having sex.

He tells me he turned to find the boy standing next to the bed- he must have been standing there for three hundred seconds actually.

He tells me his jaws hit the mattress. Then he did what all fathers love to do in such scenarios-pretended he was removing a brick that had gotten stuck in his wife’s right eye. So he kept blowing the innocent eye until he ran out of the breath.

Kids don’t forget, and most know their rights as enshrined in the Constitution. Back in our days, children had no rights, which meant straying into your father’s bedroom was a capital offence.

Two days later, he sees his boy exercising on the carpet how to remove bricks from eyes while naked.

A few days later, his mother-in-law arrived from the village, and the little champ felt it was a right opportunity to educate the mother of his mother on how to remove bricks from the eye.

The little devil even saw it proper to demonstrate and when asked whereof he acquired such knowledge, he happily pointed to the dad.  He wanted to crawl in a hole and die ‘completely’.

Kids have a genius for saying the most embarrassing things at the most inopportune times. It’s worse if yours are city kids.

There’s nothing more mortifying than having your tot comment on your private parts at the top of their lungs in front of an elderly relative, or even in front of your own mum. That’s when you want to blend into the wall and vanish like a spoilt vote!

And so when my four-year-old niece, after hearing that her mother was expecting a baby, came to me and said: “That’s what happens when you share your toothbrush. I’m never sharing my toothbrush.”

I nodded. He went on: Can boys make babies alone?  Me: No. Mothers and dad have different ingredients to make a baby. “Does that include vitamin D and Wine?” Sigh!  

The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Sde.co.ke


Read More

Category: entertainment pulse enews

Suggested

13 hours ago, 12:24
@SDENews - By: Davis Muli
Diamond, Rayvanny fined Sh400,000 over their controversial song ‘Mwanza’

The fine slapped on the artistes and the record label follows a ban on their new song ‘Mwanza’ over claims that the song was promoting homosexuality ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
13 hours ago, 12:14
@SDENews - By: Samora Samorai
Blogger Cyprian Nyakundi- Akothe murky online fights soars

Akothee and Nyakundi started exchanging words after the blogger referred to her as ‘spent cartridge’ ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
10 hours ago, 15:36
@SDENews - By: Dancan Bwire
Vera Sidika all set to release second song with Diamond Platnumz’s producer

Vera Sidika hinted that she did a song last week, but this time round it is produced by Wasafi's Lizer Classic ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
14 hours ago, 11:44
@SDENews - By: Davis Muli
Hope Kid’s polite request to Willy Paul goes badly wrong, earns him brazen response

He also advised Willy Paul and Bahati to stop begging for collaborations from Tanzanian musicians. ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
14 hours ago, 11:34
@SDENews - By: Davis Muli
This time you are on your own: Lawyer Cliff Ombeta to Mugo wa Wairimu

The popular criminal lawyer has refused to represent the suspected quack doctor, again ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
16 hours ago, 09:16
@SDENews - By: The Grapevine
Prison officials ask Matiang'i to end chaos as mudslinging continues

Officers tired of the unnecessary drama want the no-nonsense Dr Matiang’i to restore sanity in the department ...

Category: entertainment enews pulse
Our App