@SDENews

What Kenyan women think of men and their tribes

9 months ago, 18 Dec 12:15

By: Nairobian Reporter

  While some of these perceptions might not exactly be gospel truth, others are right on the money; literally. 1. Taita men The Taita have some of the best, poetically speaking, which is really good when it comes to ‘tuning’ a woman. Women adore the Mwandawiros and Mwang’ombes believing ‘Kiswahili yao ni mambo yote’ and are thus in demand from Kaptagat to Kaloleni. They are not only light-skinned and calm, but also collected when making decisions. They are most women’s dream. Positive: The Wadawidas are very romantic and know how to tune (sweet talk) women. Even better than the Omondis. Most Taita men are also irresistible lookers. Negative: Most eat small food rations and are thus ‘pin weights.’ They are “Yes” men, conformist bootlickers who are easily controlled by those in authority. They are ridiculously loyal. Ever wondered why Kibaki and Kenyatta chose Taita men as their aide-de-camp? They love sex and booze (which makes them behave like they are high on cheap Oriental herbs). Taita men are also vulgar and uncouth, spewing unprintables; embarrassing you in front of your girlfriends, when provoked. 2. Luo ‘Jatelos’ are said to be romantic and extravagant to a fault. They will take you shopping to Dubai and dine you in posh restaurants till the next light skinned interested lass emerges. Image is everything for our Lakeside brothers. Calvin Aristotle Onassis Omondi-McOgego would rather burn quid on a Mercedes without qualms, parking it outside a grass thatched hut in Akala village! Positive: They are the best players, and not necessarily for Gor Mahia. Not that it is something to clap home about, but if Omondi McOgego cheats with an ‘arrangement’ you may never know as they hardly give you a reason to. They know how to treat ‘my woman’. They must have gone to the same school with the most sought after men in Africa, the Nigerians! Negative: Calvin Aristotle Onassis Omondi McOgego thinks of investing back home in Akala village, but fears chira... being bewitched. They are always whining, complaining and ‘fighting’ for fairness/equitable distribution of resources. Meet ten Omondi-McOgegos in a ‘Luo pub’ with loud Lingala and Ohangla music and each has 20 beers waiting for action while discussing Raila’s chances in the 2017 general elections. They also do not believe in dialogue and would rather ‘throw stone missiles’ to express disappointment, and not necessarily when Gor Mahia loses a match. Omondi-McOgego can be proud even when he has ‘nothing.’ In fact, the Omondis can live beyond their means in Nairobi, showing off, only to retire stranded in the finance department! 3. Maasai How did the ‘Ndawuos’ and ‘Njores’ make it to number three? See, the thought of a man who kills lions with his bare hands is quite attractive away from the stereotyped ‘charcoal vendors’ clutching a spear in one hand with his red cloth wrapped around his waist or over his shoulders. Foreigners mythically believe the Maasai have a sexually potent ‘Long John Silver!’ Positive: A well-groomed Maasai is very ...
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@SDENews

What Kenyan women think of men and their tribes

9 months ago, 18 Dec 12:15

By: Nairobian Reporter
  While some of these perceptions might not exactly be gospel truth, others are right on the money; literally. 1. Taita men The Taita have some of the best, poetically speaking, which is really good when it comes to ‘tuning’ a woman. Women adore the Mwandawiros and Mwang’ombes believing ‘Kiswahili yao ni mambo yote’ and are thus in demand from Kaptagat to Kaloleni. They are not only light-skinned and calm, but also collected when making decisions. They are most women’s dream. Positive: The Wadawidas are very romantic and know how to tune (sweet talk) women. Even better than the Omondis. Most Taita men are also irresistible lookers. Negative: Most eat small food rations and are thus ‘pin weights.’ They are “Yes” men, conformist bootlickers who are easily controlled by those in authority. They are ridiculously loyal. Ever wondered why Kibaki and Kenyatta chose Taita men as their aide-de-camp? They love sex and booze (which makes them behave like they are high on cheap Oriental herbs). Taita men are also vulgar and uncouth, spewing unprintables; embarrassing you in front of your girlfriends, when provoked. 2. Luo ‘Jatelos’ are said to be romantic and extravagant to a fault. They will take you shopping to Dubai and dine you in posh restaurants till the next light skinned interested lass emerges. Image is everything for our Lakeside brothers. Calvin Aristotle Onassis Omondi-McOgego would rather burn quid on a Mercedes without qualms, parking it outside a grass thatched hut in Akala village! Positive: They are the best players, and not necessarily for Gor Mahia. Not that it is something to clap home about, but if Omondi McOgego cheats with an ‘arrangement’ you may never know as they hardly give you a reason to. They know how to treat ‘my woman’. They must have gone to the same school with the most sought after men in Africa, the Nigerians! Negative: Calvin Aristotle Onassis Omondi McOgego thinks of investing back home in Akala village, but fears chira... being bewitched. They are always whining, complaining and ‘fighting’ for fairness/equitable distribution of resources. Meet ten Omondi-McOgegos in a ‘Luo pub’ with loud Lingala and Ohangla music and each has 20 beers waiting for action while discussing Raila’s chances in the 2017 general elections. They also do not believe in dialogue and would rather ‘throw stone missiles’ to express disappointment, and not necessarily when Gor Mahia loses a match. Omondi-McOgego can be proud even when he has ‘nothing.’ In fact, the Omondis can live beyond their means in Nairobi, showing off, only to retire stranded in the finance department! 3. Maasai How did the ‘Ndawuos’ and ‘Njores’ make it to number three? See, the thought of a man who kills lions with his bare hands is quite attractive away from the stereotyped ‘charcoal vendors’ clutching a spear in one hand with his red cloth wrapped around his waist or over his shoulders. Foreigners mythically believe the Maasai have a sexually potent ‘Long John Silver!’ Positive: A well-groomed Maasai is very ...
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