@SDENews

How to tell 10 types of Nairobi men by the hoods they come from

8 months ago, 18 Dec 11:37

By: Nairobian Reporter

Men are hard to rate because some have elusive class and taste. Are there loaded dudes who would park their Range Rover Sport by the roadside and buy mahindi choma? Yes, there are. In Eastlands for instance, a ‘Shinde’ parked outside a local named Muhuhinyano Sawa Sawa Bar & Restaurant - never mind there is no restaurant - is not unusual. Here is what our survey revealed about men and their hoods: 1. Buruburu A typical Buru guy in his 30s still believes he is the ‘real McCoy’ to women. He imagines that the bad boy image is the magnet that will attract them in droves as he sips Whitecap at Winds. Education: Most went to Dagoretti High School (Marine Camp/Ditchez/Dago and they are proud of its nicknames), where they tried avoiding the company of classmates from ‘lowly’ Kikuyu township and Mutu-wini. The bright went to the University of Nairobi, the rest joined Buruburu Institute of Fine Arts and the lucky ones, before their parents were retrenched, went abroad. Careers: Graphic design, IT, print journalists, budding musicians and ‘business.’ Dating: A typical Buru guy has a baby mama from the hood, a pregnant girlfriend and another girl he is pursuing west of Uhuru Highway. They’re players and would disappear for a while then reappear hoping to re-ignite the embers of dying flames. But don’t hold your breathe. A Buru man never apologises! Clubbing: Most hang out at Club Rumours, Tribeca, Club Envy and Bettyz to evade their Umoja neighbours who have set base at Hornbill. Drinks: Since they hang out in groups, they can easily afford a bottle of Jameson at the end of the month. However, when times are tough, Kibao vodka will do! Fashion: Is average. The working class will don fitting second-hand trousers and shirts with sharp shooters bought from Jumia online. Language: It is rather knotty, as they have perfected the art of twisting the tongue when it suits them. From the popular swanglish, preferred mostly by the girls in the hood, to fluent English when they want to impress a girl from the other side of town. 2. Lang’ata Lang’ata men have a sense of accomplishment. They believe that one more step and they will be on the same level with their distant neighbours in Karen. Education: Most went to Upperhill and Jamhuri High School. Those who could afford it attended Nazarene or Daystar universities. The diploma holders went to KCCT (Kenya College of Communications Technology), just before it was upgraded to Multimedia University. Careers: Bank tellers, junior officers in government institutions, PR, marketers and event organisers. Dating: They come in two shades. There are those who will impress a lady by borrowing cars from  friends, and others who hanker after rich sugar mummies to help pay their Sh22,000 monthly rent, and occasionally get the chance to spin the women’s Mercedes to ‘Naxvegas’ with the boys. Language: Swanglish Clubbing: They love hanging out at their local joints - Rafikiz, Tamasha and Psyz T-Mall. They will ...
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@SDENews

How to tell 10 types of Nairobi men by the hoods they come from

8 months ago, 18 Dec 11:37

By: Nairobian Reporter
Men are hard to rate because some have elusive class and taste. Are there loaded dudes who would park their Range Rover Sport by the roadside and buy mahindi choma? Yes, there are. In Eastlands for instance, a ‘Shinde’ parked outside a local named Muhuhinyano Sawa Sawa Bar & Restaurant - never mind there is no restaurant - is not unusual. Here is what our survey revealed about men and their hoods: 1. Buruburu A typical Buru guy in his 30s still believes he is the ‘real McCoy’ to women. He imagines that the bad boy image is the magnet that will attract them in droves as he sips Whitecap at Winds. Education: Most went to Dagoretti High School (Marine Camp/Ditchez/Dago and they are proud of its nicknames), where they tried avoiding the company of classmates from ‘lowly’ Kikuyu township and Mutu-wini. The bright went to the University of Nairobi, the rest joined Buruburu Institute of Fine Arts and the lucky ones, before their parents were retrenched, went abroad. Careers: Graphic design, IT, print journalists, budding musicians and ‘business.’ Dating: A typical Buru guy has a baby mama from the hood, a pregnant girlfriend and another girl he is pursuing west of Uhuru Highway. They’re players and would disappear for a while then reappear hoping to re-ignite the embers of dying flames. But don’t hold your breathe. A Buru man never apologises! Clubbing: Most hang out at Club Rumours, Tribeca, Club Envy and Bettyz to evade their Umoja neighbours who have set base at Hornbill. Drinks: Since they hang out in groups, they can easily afford a bottle of Jameson at the end of the month. However, when times are tough, Kibao vodka will do! Fashion: Is average. The working class will don fitting second-hand trousers and shirts with sharp shooters bought from Jumia online. Language: It is rather knotty, as they have perfected the art of twisting the tongue when it suits them. From the popular swanglish, preferred mostly by the girls in the hood, to fluent English when they want to impress a girl from the other side of town. 2. Lang’ata Lang’ata men have a sense of accomplishment. They believe that one more step and they will be on the same level with their distant neighbours in Karen. Education: Most went to Upperhill and Jamhuri High School. Those who could afford it attended Nazarene or Daystar universities. The diploma holders went to KCCT (Kenya College of Communications Technology), just before it was upgraded to Multimedia University. Careers: Bank tellers, junior officers in government institutions, PR, marketers and event organisers. Dating: They come in two shades. There are those who will impress a lady by borrowing cars from  friends, and others who hanker after rich sugar mummies to help pay their Sh22,000 monthly rent, and occasionally get the chance to spin the women’s Mercedes to ‘Naxvegas’ with the boys. Language: Swanglish Clubbing: They love hanging out at their local joints - Rafikiz, Tamasha and Psyz T-Mall. They will ...
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