Dear show-offs, the gym is not a photo studio
1 months ago, 17 Oct 10:36
Going to the gym has become a trendy thing nowadays. Everyone is doing it. Everyone wants to be seen as an icon of healthy living.
One of your favourite celebrities is probably spamming your timeline with sweaty gym selfies and videos right now. You are wondering why their face looks like the Victoria Falls yet they have only jogged for two minutes on the treadmill.
Maybe celebrities have more sweat pores per square inch of skin than ordinary humans. You never know.
You are feeling like calling them out but you show restraint because you won’t look good. With your mere 100 followers and 20 likes per picture, you will only look like a jaundiced hater.
Your friends are probably doing the same too. They keep reminding you how wametoka gym. You now feel like you are missing out on something big because you don’t hit the gym.
Don’t even worry about it. Most people just go to the gym to show off, not to cut or gain calories.
This past Sunday, I decided to pass by the gym in my hood after skipping two previous days of workouts due to laziness. I know, I am not doing myself any favours in my quest to have a body like that of Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. But I try, I really do.
The abs keep coming and going like Kenya Power lights. Call them seasonal abs. But I am not worried. So long as I don’t end up having a kitambi, I am happy.
Actually, the reason I started going to the gym was that I used to be too skinny. I have gained a few kilogrammes since and I am proud of myself. Clap for me, don’t be mean.
PUSH-UPS FOR INSTAGRAM
Anyway, as soon as I entered the gym, a pretty girl approached me and handed me her phone.
“Hi, would you mind recording me for just a minute as I do push-ups?” she tabled her request.
Being the good person that I am, I accepted. But before I could start, she interjected again with “Hold up, let me put it Instagram live instead.” I let her set up her live whatever then she gave me the go-ahead to start filming.
She got on her fours but only a few seconds into the push-ups she stood up and came back to address her followers. “Hey guys, I am at the gym….yaaay! And this is my good friend and camera guy Mike.”
Yes, she was talking about me. Mike? I had only met her two sentences ago and she had already baptised me with a new name and employed me as her camera guy. Slay queens are indeed a wonder.
Of course, I wasn’t going to spend my gym time doing voluntary camera work under the alias Mike. First, the economy is too frail for anyone to do voluntary work and second, I love ...
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