@DailyNation

Abusive parents to blame for toxic society

6 days ago, 00:19

By: Linda Nnananguttu

No one prepares you for the realisation that parents, whom we, rightfully, hold in high regard can be toxic. Nothing can take away the love and respect parents deserve but the realisation that they’re human and prone to being dishonourable is a bitter pill for anyone to swallow.

Abusive parents exist and, while we may be too timid to call them out on account of the unquestionable respect the African culture demands, this is a conversation we need to have.

Abuse is expansive but the most common, yet least-talked about, are the psychological and emotional forms. Emotional abuse, in this context, is the gradual disregard and subsequent destruction of your child’s self-worth and esteem in the way you address them verbally or physically.

SCARRING EFFECT

I may not list all facets of emotional abuse. However, emotional manipulation — constant comparison of your children to others because of their inability to project values you forcibly inflict on them, being verbally uncouth with them, addressing them with little respect and a general lack of empathy for what they are going through embody some of the facets of emotional abuse.

Psychological abuse is manifested in actions that put children in a mental state likely to cause depression, anxiety, trauma and stress. Parents can be rather oblivious to the scarring effect of their actions on their children.

Similarly, physical and verbal projection of anger and violence towards, and in front of, children can cause deep-rooted psychological issues that could take a lifetime to undo.

EXPECTATIONS

While parents are human, they need to realise that children are their own people and deserve inherent respect and dignity that does not attach to their role as parents and caregivers.

More often than not, parents project their desires on their children with such disregard for their preference or decisions, subsequently putting them under pressure to deliver and live up to expectations they may not necessarily subscribe to.

Toxicity among parents runs deep. Sadly, we have been accustomed to being on the receiving end in silence because respect for elders demands it. We should encourage a culture of introspection among parents and for youth to be respectfully vocal about the impact of their elders’ actions on them.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

The notion that parents are always right and entitled to treat their children however they please since they bore and raised them is one reason why we raise a generation that is emotionally and psychologically damaged from all the inflictions of toxic parents most are not courageous enough to call out.

When was the last time your parent apologised to you for being wrong? More often than not, their transgressions are swept under the carpet, never to be revisited, and the pile-up catches up with most of us.

How aware do you think your parents are when it comes to their emotional and psychological well-being? Often, their toxicity is a projection of their personal struggles that they need to address before it spills onto their children.

SNARKY COMMENTS

Interestingly, the ...
Read More


Category: topnews news oped opinion

Suggested

3 minutes
@CITIZENTV - By: Agencies
Arsene Wenger ready for January return to football

Arsene Wenger has expressed his intention to return to football in January having received "enquirers from all over the world ...

Category: topnews news sports
1 hour ago
@CITIZENTV - By: Cnn
Canada just legalized recreational marijuana

As of October 17, adults will be allowed to carry legal marijuana in public, according to a bill that passed the Senate in Canada on June. ...

Category: topnews news
1 hours ago, 17:27
@CITIZENTV - By: Pscu
South Sudan peace process top of agenda as Uhuru hosts South Africa’s Deputy President

President Uhuru Kenyatta on Wednesday held talks with South Africa’s Deputy President David Dabede Mabuza who briefed him on the progress made in the peace process in South Sudan. ...

Category: topnews news
1 hours ago, 17:22
@DailyNation - By: Nation Team
Probe on as Homa Bay mace disappears from Speaker’s office

Assembly forced to use a mace that was used by the defunct local authority to transact business. ...

Category: topnews news counties
1 hours ago, 16:51
@CITIZENTV - By: Reuters
Nigerian politician Ibori loses appeal against UK graft conviction

Former governor of Delta State in southern Nigeria James Ibori lost an appeal against his conviction in London on Wednesday. ...

Category: topnews news
1 hours ago, 16:51
@DailyNation - By: Waikwa Maina
The man who finds treasure in trash

When David Njuguna began his work, neighbours treated him with contempt. ...

Category: topnews news lifestyle

@DailyNation

Abusive parents to blame for toxic society

6 days ago, 00:19

By: Linda Nnananguttu

No one prepares you for the realisation that parents, whom we, rightfully, hold in high regard can be toxic. Nothing can take away the love and respect parents deserve but the realisation that they’re human and prone to being dishonourable is a bitter pill for anyone to swallow.

Abusive parents exist and, while we may be too timid to call them out on account of the unquestionable respect the African culture demands, this is a conversation we need to have.

Abuse is expansive but the most common, yet least-talked about, are the psychological and emotional forms. Emotional abuse, in this context, is the gradual disregard and subsequent destruction of your child’s self-worth and esteem in the way you address them verbally or physically.

SCARRING EFFECT

I may not list all facets of emotional abuse. However, emotional manipulation — constant comparison of your children to others because of their inability to project values you forcibly inflict on them, being verbally uncouth with them, addressing them with little respect and a general lack of empathy for what they are going through embody some of the facets of emotional abuse.

Psychological abuse is manifested in actions that put children in a mental state likely to cause depression, anxiety, trauma and stress. Parents can be rather oblivious to the scarring effect of their actions on their children.

Similarly, physical and verbal projection of anger and violence towards, and in front of, children can cause deep-rooted psychological issues that could take a lifetime to undo.

EXPECTATIONS

While parents are human, they need to realise that children are their own people and deserve inherent respect and dignity that does not attach to their role as parents and caregivers.

More often than not, parents project their desires on their children with such disregard for their preference or decisions, subsequently putting them under pressure to deliver and live up to expectations they may not necessarily subscribe to.

Toxicity among parents runs deep. Sadly, we have been accustomed to being on the receiving end in silence because respect for elders demands it. We should encourage a culture of introspection among parents and for youth to be respectfully vocal about the impact of their elders’ actions on them.

EMOTIONAL DAMAGE

The notion that parents are always right and entitled to treat their children however they please since they bore and raised them is one reason why we raise a generation that is emotionally and psychologically damaged from all the inflictions of toxic parents most are not courageous enough to call out.

When was the last time your parent apologised to you for being wrong? More often than not, their transgressions are swept under the carpet, never to be revisited, and the pile-up catches up with most of us.

How aware do you think your parents are when it comes to their emotional and psychological well-being? Often, their toxicity is a projection of their personal struggles that they need to address before it spills onto their children.

SNARKY COMMENTS

Interestingly, the ...
Read More

Category: topnews news oped opinion

Suggested

3 minutes
@CITIZENTV - By: Agencies
Arsene Wenger ready for January return to football

Arsene Wenger has expressed his intention to return to football in January having received "enquirers from all over the world ...

Category: topnews news sports
1 hour ago
@CITIZENTV - By: Cnn
Canada just legalized recreational marijuana

As of October 17, adults will be allowed to carry legal marijuana in public, according to a bill that passed the Senate in Canada on June. ...

Category: topnews news
1 hours ago, 17:27
@CITIZENTV - By: Pscu
South Sudan peace process top of agenda as Uhuru hosts South Africa’s Deputy President

President Uhuru Kenyatta on Wednesday held talks with South Africa’s Deputy President David Dabede Mabuza who briefed him on the progress made in the peace process in South Sudan. ...

Category: topnews news
1 hours ago, 17:22
@DailyNation - By: Nation Team
Probe on as Homa Bay mace disappears from Speaker’s office

Assembly forced to use a mace that was used by the defunct local authority to transact business. ...

Category: topnews news counties
1 hours ago, 16:51
@CITIZENTV - By: Reuters
Nigerian politician Ibori loses appeal against UK graft conviction

Former governor of Delta State in southern Nigeria James Ibori lost an appeal against his conviction in London on Wednesday. ...

Category: topnews news
1 hours ago, 16:51
@DailyNation - By: Waikwa Maina
The man who finds treasure in trash

When David Njuguna began his work, neighbours treated him with contempt. ...

Category: topnews news lifestyle
Our App